Bacon Is Sent From Heaven
Lucky Boy BLT Sandwich © Ollylain
You know, I think I could make it as a vegetarian — for a while at least. It could last a few months, hell, I might be stubborn and let the whole charade go on for a few years. But no matter how long I held out, I guarantee bacon would have something to do with my falling off the wagon.
Bacon just combines such wonderful elements — smoke, salt, fat, pork. Divine intervention had to take place somewhere in the timeline of the creation of bacon. Perhaps it was some fabled 11th Commandment that got lost along the way. “Thou shalt eat bacon” or something to that effect. For those that subscribe to a different dogma that perhaps prohibits porcine indulgences, I do sympathize. I certainly mean no disrespect, but c’mon. You mean to tell me that you wouldn’t devour a Bacon Explosion if you found out tomorrow that you had one week to live? But hey, if that’s your thing, I respect and envy your strength.
The fact is, bacon makes just about everything taste better, as the folks behind Bacon Salt set out to prove. Bacon Salt is fantastic sprinkled on eggs, french fries, popcorn, or anything your little clogged heart desires. All that sodium is likely to get you thirsty. How about a Bacon Chocolate Martini to wash it down? Making your own bacon vodka is a piece of cake.
Cake? Ah yes, the dessert world. No place for pork, right? Think again. After giggling like a schoolgirl at Boneyard Bistro upon biting into their Maple Bacon Pecan Cupcake, I’ve had bacon desserts on the brain. Apparently I wasn’t the only one. Susan Russo and NPR just yesterday put out a sinful spread of bacon gilded goodies like Chocolate-Bacon-Peanut Bark and Peanut Butter-Maple Bacon Fudge. Be careful, the beautiful pictures might even contain calories, and they could very well get you demanding bacon in every dessert. Just don’t get too crazy and start dreaming up ideas for Candied Bacon Ice Cream or anything.
Let’s not get too carried away here. We should note that bacon isn’t the healthiest item, even if it is the tastiest. As with any temptation, temperance and moderation are advised. If you feel your obsession is bordering on addiction, perhaps you might want to ration your rashers. Maybe just one package of artisan bacon delivered to your door monthly through the Bacon of the Month Club would be the best option for you?
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2 December 2009 - 2:37 pm
I somehow hadn’t come across the Holy Church of Bacon. Pretty funny stuff, especially the pictures.
4 December 2009 - 4:38 pm
Dude, how are you write an article about the greatness of Bacon and not include how it is a very integral ingredient in making “The Manly Burger” at Umami as good as it is.
4 December 2009 - 5:08 pm
Hmmm, I’m glad you liked the post.
I thought I’d made it abundantly clear that bacon is essentially an integral ingredient in everything. Back to the drawing board I guess…
5 December 2009 - 2:54 pm
That was f’ing amazing. Good comeback.
6 December 2009 - 12:58 pm
Great post, and I’m sure every man I know would agree with it. Am I the only one that LOVES bacon but can’t stand it’s flavor meshing with anything else? I hate bacon IN anything, but I will eat a whole plate of it on it’s own … just my two cents.
6 December 2009 - 2:05 pm
I’ve never heard of such a dilemma. I mean, yes, a plate of bacon is awesome, but I think I’m the opposite. I think I prefer with other stuff. Bacon avocado cheeseburger, anybody?
7 January 2010 - 8:13 am
Nice post. I agree 100% about everything… EXCEPT, just an FYI, the Grateful Palate’s Bacon of the Month Club is a ripoff and really bad. I only enjoyed 2 of the 6 packages of bacon, and $190 is ridiculous. (I have my reviews written down somewhere) Luckily for me, it was a birthday gift, but still!
7 January 2010 - 10:48 am
Thanks for the comment! Glad you liked the post. Yeah, I thought the price tag for the bacon club was a bit steep. But if you only enjoyed two of the packages, it’s definitely an unfortunate gimmick. How dare they besmirch bacon’s good name!