A few weeks ago, an interesting writing contest popped up in The New York Times, asking the seemingly simple question: “Is it ethical to eat meat?” My friend Steven Armstrong brought it to my attention, but I have to admit, I wasn’t sure why. (I’m still not, actually, but that’s beside the point.) You see, I became an ardent vegetarian close to two years ago after reading the ever-so-brilliant-and-not-at-all-preachy¬†Eating Animals¬†by Jonathan Safran Foer, who also doubles as one of this contest’s judges, to boot!

So what would a chompy old herbivore like myself have to add to a topic such as this? Why did he send me the link? Heh, somebody should totally write a satire. Hey, I should totally write a satire! And off I went, undoubtedly pushing a more pressing project aside for a few hours to craft my cunning snark. (more…)